Finding Real Joy: 7 Unexpected Lessons My Paralyzed Smile Taught Me

Most people say they have a “good side” when it comes to photos. Me? I actually do. No really… like, medically.

Because of a past brain injury, I can’t control the left side of my face. This makes smiling for pictures… interesting, to say the least. Sometimes when people hear I was paralyzed, they’ll say something like, “Well your face isn’t paralyzed!” or “Your smile looks normal!”

And I always say, “Well… it is—if it’s real.”

The Struggle of the “Posed” Life

When I try to pose for a picture, it’s embarrassingly awkward. When I force a smile, the right side cooperates and the left side just kind of… lags behind. I end up looking like a stroke victim whose smile got lost halfway across my face.

So over the years, I developed a strategy. Whenever there’s a photo opportunity, I simply turn my right side to the camera—my “good side.” If you look at hundreds of photos of me, you’ll see it every time. Same angle. Same turn. Same side. Honestly, I’m not even sure what the left side of my face looks like in a camera lens anymore.

But something fascinating happens when the smile isn’t for the camera, but for the soul. That is where finding real joy begins to change the physical reality of my life.

When the Heart Takes Control

When I see my sister Julie—my hero. When I remember Dahlia’s squeaky southern voice. When I hear Eric in my memory shouting the magical words, “ICE CREAM!”—voices that never really leave you—something shifts.

I smile. Not a practiced smile. Not a “say cheese” smile. A real one.

And when that happens, the left side of my face suddenly remembers its job. It rises up in a sharp little corner that perfectly matches the right. For a moment, my smile looks completely normal. Balanced. Natural. Un-paralyzed.

Because that’s what finding real joy does. It bypasses the broken circuits of the brain and connects directly to the heart. When we embrace authentic living, we discover that the heart has a muscle memory that medicine can’t always explain.

Why People Can Tell When You’re Faking It

And the funny thing is—when the smile is fake, everyone can tell. When I try to manufacture happiness for a camera, it’s obvious. Transparent. Awkward. Really… they know.

But the opposite is true too. Let’s say I’m sitting in church and my brother says something that cracks me up. I can do everything in my earthly power to resist laughing because, you know… holy house and all. But no dice. Apparently, “Lefty” did not grow up in church. That perfect little corner just creeps up all by itself and suddenly my face is broadcasting the inappropriate moment whether I like it or not.

It’s a “Lefty Smile.” And honestly? It’s by far the best smile I have. Because it’s real. It’s true. It’s from the heart. Finding real joy isn’t about looking perfect; it’s about being honest.

The Science and Soul of Emotional Healing

I believe everybody’s best smile is the one you’re trying to resist. Your “Lefty Smile.” Because when something comes from your heart, you can’t hide it.

• Real joy leaks out.
• Real love shows up.
• Real gratitude shines through.

You can try to hold it back. But eventually… Lefty shows up. This is a vital part of emotional healing. We spend so much energy trying to “pose” our lives—our social media feeds, our careers, our relationships—that we forget how to just be.

Internal Note: This connection between the heart and happiness is exactly what we discussed in my previous post onThe Power of Gratitude.

Stop Posing and Start Living Authentically

You see, friends, it’s not just about your smile. When something truly lives in your heart, it refuses to stay hidden. It’s real. It’s genuine. It’s true. And trust me… they know.

So go ahead. Let yourself smile your “Lefty Smile.” And not just on your face. Let it show up in the way you love people. The way you forgive. The way you encourage. The way you ooze generosity.

When you focus on finding real joy, you realize:

1. You don’t have to prove it: Your character speaks for itself.
2. You don’t have to pose it: Authenticity is more attractive than perfection.
3. You don’t have to force it: Truth always finds a way to the surface.

Your “Good Side” is Your Real Side

So stop trying to pose your life. Just let the real you show. Because that… is your good side. And when it’s real… they’ll know.

Turns out the best side of your life is the side your heart controls. Whether you are dealing with a physical limitation, a mental health struggle, or just the everyday pressure to be “on,” remember that finding real joy happens in the unpolished moments.

It happens when you’re laughing too loud at a joke you shouldn’t. It happens when you’re moved to tears by a sunset. It happens when “Lefty” decides to show up and remind you that you are still whole, even if you are broken.

A Final Thought on Authenticity

I spent years hiding the left side of my face. I thought that by showing only the “working” part, I was protecting myself and others from my reality. But I was actually robbing myself of the beauty of being known.

When we stop hiding our “paralyzed” parts—whether they are physical scars or emotional ones—we give others permission to do the same. That is the true power of authenticity.

Join the Conversation: I’d love to hear about your “Lefty Smile.” When was the last time you felt a joy so real you couldn’t hide it? Feel free to leave a comment below or share this with a friend who might need a reminder to stop posing and just be real.